Weddings, Counseling

(2004)

From Bill Easum in response to many posts

Don’t take this wrong but why are so many of you requiring yourself to do so much counseling?  Sounds as if some of you are investing more time in this than in reaching the unchurched, never churched and dechurched.  The more you insist on you doing three sessions with someone before marrying them, the smaller your church will remain.
So, what are the options?
I think only two: See them once and send them to a trained, Christian marriage counselor who can do a better job in the first place. If they don’t want to spend the money, then don’t marry them.  They are spending money on the dress, the cake, etc... so why not on the counseling.
That frees you up to pursue those who really need you
As you get larger, you may prefer to have someone on your staffs who does the counseling on site at your place. That is what we did.
But no staff was allowed to spend more than one counseling session with anyone no matter what the situation.  Most effective staff aren’t trained to be counselors and really don’t shine at it, and usually it isn’t their heart burst. if it is, often they aren’t effective leaders.  (Do you see the chaplain, enabler style surfacing here).
So, if this post offends, and I don’t mean to, look within and see if your mercy gift, or chaplain/enabler style is dominating.  And remember, those who lead with their mercy gift or who lead with chaplain or enabling type leadership, seldom ever lead a church to carry out the Great Commission.