Losing People

Bill Easum 2004

Every transition I’ve seen results in losing some folks.  Here is a piece of a dialogue on this issue from our advanced leadership forums. To subscribe click here

This is from a church who is turning the corner and is baptizing new converts and beginning to grow.


“We are also folks.  Long termers who are leaving.  Resently.
Letting all their friends know that they are ; that no one is
caring about them or paying attention to them.  Some have gone to
another UCC church and said they won't be back until I leave.  That
reflects that they really aren't immersing themselves at the present in
the life of that church, but are just using it like a playpen for them
to cry.”

A response from someone on the forum

I add my own to say that its happening here in Pitman as well. Losing people that I/we love really hurts. But the leadership core is moving forward. The fear of authentic community is palpable as a gap widens in the church. We are asking a Pastoral Counselor who is trained in systems to come and work with us. I am also trained in systems, but the fresh eyes to help us see will do us good.

Response from Bill Easum

Keep in mind that family systems go just so far in a church.  there is a point at which the gap widens to where evil replaces selfishness and a lack of any relationship with Jesus Christ replaces mere church membership. No matter how much we might love these folks, we must love the mission more.  The time came when Jesus said to Judas, Do what you have to do. Im sure Jesus' heart was broken when Judas walked out the door but he knew it was necessary.
Keep the faith folks if you believe you are following the mission.

A response from another member

You raise an important topic.  When some beloved people leave, particularly if it is a noticeable number, it will lead to some anxiousness and uncertainty among those who remain.  The temptation is for the clergy to focus primarily on pastoral care of the anxious and/or those leaving, but that detracts from the focus on the mission to the world.  

Is it appropriate publicly to acknowledge what is obvious to all?  How does one keep the mission the main thing in the midst of leaders who may feel anxious and grieving?

Response from Bill Easum

Yes, acknowledge what is obvious to all, but not in worship.  Never air dirty laundry in worship. do it in meetings or congregational meetings, but never at regular worship.

The worst thing a leader can do is blink.  when you blink everyone is hurt. those who are on the mission lose heart and those who are against any mission gain strength.  So, once you start, never, ever doubt in public.  Doubt in your private time with God if you must, but never let the leadership see you in doubt.  No necessarily sure what the next move is is okay, but doubting the importance or direction of the mission, never.